It's exhausting to have to write this but I will push through it because people should know what tactics the Catholic Church and De La Salle use to avoid responsibility to survivors.
Fairly recently, I reluctantly approached the Religious Life Safeguarding Service, RLSS, after reading that they might hold some influence with De La Salle. I say reluctantly because I've had dealings in the past with the utterly useless Catholic organisation, Safe Spaces. Annoyingly, despite some initial promise, RLSS present themselves as equally useless and their "safeguarding" is so obviously all about ticking boxes for soothing the Catholic Church's conscience.
I say that because although RLSS did manage to arrange some counselling sessions for me, funded by DLS (it seems, rather reluctantly), one would think any proper safeguarding agency worth its salt would surely follow up with the question, "How did it go?" or "How are you doing now?/Is there anything more we can do?" if not out of concern for the survivor, then surely, at least for their own self-evaluation to see if it was money well spent? Are measurable outcomes/evaluations not a thing in the Catholic Church?
After extracting as much personal information from me as possible, RLSS arranged funding for twelve sessions with (after my insistence) a counsellor I trusted. This actually did help me piece together a better understanding of the timeline of abuse at St Joseph's by _ (who I've now named online and will be blogging more about soon) and it enabled me to update my statement to police, giving a much more detailed account of events. However, it was then tumbleweed from RLSS. Zero follow up for several months and a basic lack of human decency rattled me a bit, I must confess, and I felt I still needed more therapy.
So I emailed them asking if any further help was available. They responded with "What do you need?" (Still no "how did it go/how are you?"). They offered to "help" me write a "Letter of Truth" to De La Salle. As you can see though, I can probably manage my own words.
Accordingly, I fired off quite a long letter outlining just a few of the main consequences of Child Sexual Abuse at St Joseph's. Ipswich and eventually I received, several weeks later, via RLSS, a carefully composed, presumably lawyer-checked, whining apology that included this stunning gem: "The betrayal of our mission by individuals within our ranks has caused (us) immense hurt...". Oh well done chaps, make it all about you then. My heart bleeds! Breathtakingly ignorant, in my view, of how to speak to a survivor! This just sums up the level of slithery deceit and dishonesty I have come to associate with Catholicism. And clearly, supposedly celibate men still have no idea how community is supposed to function.
Anyway, the RLSS got me thinking. What DO I need? I mean, I could keep getting therapy until the cows come home. What I really desperately need is closure. What does that look like? To me, it looks like a physical thing I can go to/ touch/ see every time I get a panic attack (most mornings). Something I can say of, "This represents an end to the trauma. This represents acknowledgement that I have been heard and that the matter is now closed." .... So I told them a house by the sea, a grand piano and some recording equipment ought to do it.
RLSS responded saying they don't get involved in compensation claims and 'here's the DLS solicitor's contact details'. DLS also said in their so-called apology, "We also recognise that words alone cannot repair the harm done..."
So, pull your fingers out De La Salle! DO MORE THAN WORDS!
GIVE SURVIVORS THE CLOSURE WE'RE ASKING FOR!
It's not difficult, and will probably only cost you about the same as you spend on those navel-gazing global conferences trying to work out what your mission is! THIS is your bloody mission! Put survivors of your abuse before 'outreach', before 'evangelism', before I have to write another blog.
Amen?
As for RLSS. I gave them a chance. They blew it big time.
