After a few sessions of therapy, I'm now much better able to make sense of what happened to me at St Joseph's and when I said to my therapist, I couldn't be 100% certain I've got my story straight, she replied that she knew me well enough now and could tell me what happened to me. Furthermore, she stated she'd be happy to testify in court, if necessary. So, that said, I can confidently state that this happened: I was in the toilet block opposite the gymnasium with a two or more friends towards the end of a lunch break. There was some shouting, some people were ordered out and the door was shut. I was held down by an accomplice (probably an older prefect) over a toilet in one of the cubicles, a handkerchief was stuffed in my mouth and "soothing" words along the lines of orders not to struggle were spoken as I was buggered by _. It was after that that I have the memory of standing by the noticeboard on the gym wall, desperately trying to process what had just taken place and taking the awful decision to just shut down my memory in order to carry on with my school day and appear as normal to my friends.
Last week I was sharing this story with friends, one of whom is a secondary teacher. For the first time in 50+ years I heard these words, "Your decision to shut down was absolutely the right decision". Very validating words indeed coming all these years later from the first person I regard as being "in authority".
She then went on to say that she'd been a pupil at Chantry High School, just opposite St Joe's, and remarked that she and her friends were often in town and always used to wonder why "those privileged St Joe's kids all seemed so messed up".
It seems barely a week goes by now without some new tale of woe relating to St Joseph's reaches my ears. I was working for a client and the conversation turned to her place of employment; a boarding school. I said, "Oh, I went to one of those but thankfully just a day boy." My heart sank to the floor when she responded with, " My brother went to St. Joseph's in Ipswich. He was an absolute little sh*t! My parents were constantly having to go in to sort something out." I bit my tongue because she'd just shared some other troubles and I didn't want to add to her distress. But I'll say what I thought here: my money is on her brother having been abused. We're talking 1990's here. The era when Francis Carolan was there, I believe. I'm referring to the guy whose trial was last April but whose case was never heard because he killed himself while on remand, just before the trial began.
Pat Mills, has also shared on his blog that St Joseph's are currently engaged in trying to get old boys to sign up to their alumni. For some not-very-strange reason, not many old boys seem very willing to sign up so they sought out the help of one former pupil, presumably more prominent than I. He slapped them down for trying to minimise the legacy of the abuses that De La Salle have covered up ever since.
I do realise all this can potentially be quite triggering to former pupils at St Joseph's but once again, if that's you, I sincerely apologise and help is listed below. But I really do encourage anyone with information pertinent to abuses carried out there in ANY decade to please make that information known. It can be done anonymously at crimestoppers or however you wish.
I'm probably going to set up a dedicated email folks can send information to because I know what happened to me is just one of many crimes carried out there. I am updating police as I go.
If you need help with mental health issues as a result of reading through this rather unsavoury blog, here are some links to get help. Personally, I've found my first port of call, NAPAC, very helpful in pointing me to the right peopled providing an understanding ear.
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